Dark Tunnel

Since it's almost tomorrow I thought I should post today's feelings. As usual I have been "living" with back to back episodes of insomnia, which I think is increasing . Today I had a melt-down, I was informed by my sister "Jan Brady" that my son was now a working man. He has scored a job watering the neighbor's plants while she is away for a couple of weeks. My son Dee never mentioned this to me, so of course I felt out of the loop. Actually, I felt more than that... it was a particular sadness that made me cry {crying now}. I once again am reminded that I have failed my boy, and myself. Instead of praising and concentrating on the fact that he is accomplishing something or that he is excited about his employment, I crashed into the side of that damn dark tunnel.. the tunnel that I lost our home to! Why equate his job to us losing our home? I will never forgive myself  for us being split up, and not having OUR home!!