Him: Good morning, Beautiful. How is my son?
Me: Morning, He's fine, on my way to see him, what's up?
H: When is he coming home?
M: His ass is fine just where he's at!! I will have him call you later.
H: Ummm, why are you sounding like that, why are you being hostile, what's going on with you/him?
M: WHAT the HELL.... I'm tired... irritated... and sick of my life being this way. Everyone is getting on my nerves, yes... Dee too!!!!
H: What has he done, is he in trouble, I don't understand, why are you angry with him?
M: God, all these questions, he hasn't done anything, except call constantly to check on me.
H: He's concerned, and worried about you.
M: I know that... that's why he's there, I don't want him to see me like this.
H: I don't see the problem with him calling HIS mother.
M: If you must know... his voice gets on my damn nerves, it's always crackling, whistling, squeaking.
H: It's puberty, it's suppose to do that.
M: NO SHIT Sherlock.... I fuckin know that... between the Clark Gable mustache, and the constant adjustments to his fly area, I figured it out... what the hell !!!
H: Beautiful.. all I'm saying is that Dee can't help it.
M: I know ALL this... just wish his voice would settle on one fuckin pitch, one fuckin tone.
H: Beautiful.. all I'm saying is that Dee can't help it.
M: I know ALL this... just wish his voice would settle on one fuckin pitch, one fuckin tone.
The conversation continued.....
I proceeded to inform him that HE got on my nerves too.
Now, fast forward later in the week.
I was taking that same drive, I started thinking of my son. I had a flash back to when he was 2. We had just come from Safeway and I was unpacking the bags and he was wandering around the house. The Fridge door was open and I was bending over (as if I was touching my toes/exercise), and all of a sudden his little butt comes out of no-where, swings the door so HARD that when the edge of it made.... up close and personal contact.... with the center of my head... I was knocked back onto my ass with some unseen/unheard force... Shit, I not only saw stars, I saw stripey circles in colors that don't exist. When I finally came to, guess who was there bending over me staring in my face, stroking my hand... MY SON
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