Sleepless night... again! I've been watching Film noir on Hulu, and playing Spider Solitaire! A couple of times my Sister decided that I needed to be reprimanded for "shoe surf shopping". Come on... did I NOT set my boundaries, and does she NOT know them? Because she is the oldest she believes that she is entitled to an All Access Pass... just a bully!

This morning has been trying, panic/anxiety attacks started at 12:30am, when I realized that I had to rise and shine at 5am. I obsessed about the approaching hour, and in returned could not sleep. I am so tired of every-thing being a challenge. What happened to my life, what happened to me?

With only 2 hours of sleep... and so much anxiety ripping through me... I am having a really tough time! This morning was a, on the road crying session. Later in the afternoon was another, but this one was with my son. My heart breaks for him, he doesn't quite understand what is at work! I won't finish this entry, just exhausted.

Ho hum

Four hours, some tears and one anxiety attack later... I'm still feeling the waves. I have tried distractions of many kinds, singing/laughing/writing/playing... and not one of them has attempted to take over, not even for a little bit. None, want to relieve me of that guilt ridden burden, that has made it... its mission to control my EVERYTHING!
Ho hum, ho hum.