Gee, I didn't realize that it's been almost a week since my last post! I've been having up/down spells. Really just feeling like I don't want to do anything, or be bothered by/with anyone. The last few days kinda seem as though they merged into one long irritating, stand-still. My thoughts have been dominated with dread, and doom... like there is something that is trying it's best to manifest, and I want no part of it! I have been known to accurately prophesize... unfortunately, it's usually been about negative occurrences. The chips just keep on stacking, what a fucking pain!! 

God/Jesus/V. Mary/Prince

 I decided too share my dreams with my mother one morning. I had two of them back to back consisting of Jesus.. and the Virgin Mary. I won't go into too much of the details, but with the Jesus dream, it was like a end of the world 'war' going on and I found a book, instantly thinking that I should take it to the Disciples. When I approached them they started attacking me, while Jesus watched from a kitchen window. He then came out and reprimanded them and took my hand, and healed my finger. Now, the dream with the Virgin Mary, I was outside looking up at the sky and someone appeared, I got the feeling that it was God. A few minutes later, Mary and Jesus appeared and displayed a huge cross in the clouds, then the cross turned into Rosary Beads. I've had dreams like this before so I wasn't spooked, just wanted my mother's thought on this. Well, she gave it to me, and I was expecting something different. "You need to get yourself right with Spirit/God/Jesus!" Now, that pissed me off because I am a very spiritual person and she knows that. So I started flashing back to the "Holy Oil incident", which still has me miffed. But I then asked why she suggested that, her answer..."Because of all your cursing". Let's be for real, I got it honestly from her, and it's been curbed lately. Anyway, I decided to take that on the chin, but could not resist nettling her a bit. So, I asked her what else should I do, start a bonfire and chuck all my worldly goods in! Should  I start with my favorite Russian Red lipstick, and then follow that up with my hard-bound copy of Dante's Inferno? Still not good enough? Next, I offered up all my Prince paraphernalia/photos/albums, especially the one where he's wearing the little black bikini underwear. Should all that genius burn like someone's gonorrhea infected genitalia? Is that the way to square myself with the Lord? Or should I ask to be anointed with your highly guarded "Olive Juice of Gold"? She said, might as well... it can't hurt. On that note, I hurled some more sarcasm. I have a confession to make regarding that Dirty Mind album photo. I superimposed my face onto Prince's head. Which head... I will leave that up to your guessing and imagination!

 

Kid Checks

Today was pretty good, had a counseling session which went well. The only trouble I had was in the waiting room, it took for ever to be seen... I became agitated. I started thinking about all kinds of things in order to take my mind off the wait... didn't work! A little later I mislaid my phone, when it was found... my son was still calling, after he logged in 29 missed calls, 2 voice messages. Who is the parent... and who is the child?

Today, I Feel and Look NOTHING like my name!!

Simple!?

How I'm felling this very moment... I want out of this... talking about marriage, life, existing. I'm slightly terrified of getting medications refilled... Just tired!